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What language you should speak to your baby when you're mix marriage couple?

I'm Asian and my husband is European. We both are not English native speakers but we use English to communicate to each other even though we speak the other's native language. I have an arguement with my husband which language we will speak to the baby. I'm now pregnant. I think we should speak in each of our native language. He thinks that we should speak English to the baby as it's a more important language and it's the language that binds the two of us. I argue that the baby can go to English education system later and will learn English. He thinks it would confuse the baby having to speak in too many languages. But I think as long as one is consistent with the language that one speak to the baby, the baby can understand. Besides the baby will take my husband's nationality so it makes sense to speak in the language according to his/her passport. And the baby will be at least perfectly billingual if not trilingual. Any thoughts?

Public Comments

1. whatever language is dominant in your community
2. All languages. Honestly, he needs to get with the times. People have more opportnities and the chance to make more money if you are bilingual. So why would you not want to teach your child other languages? It's best to do it before they turn 11 because they still learn with both sides of their brains. :)
3. The language you like.
4. I think you're right, if your baby is being raised in an english speaking area he/she will definitely learn english, and being trilingual will give them a huge advantage in life. You should be aware, however, that when a baby is learning more than one language at a time it will take a bit longer, but it will sure be worth it in the end! Good luck & congrats! :)
5. Should definitely speak the language that both can understand, which seems to be English. Then, when the child is fluent, around 4 or 5, start teaching second language and third.
6. Most doctors say that speaking in multiple languages around your child is ideal. Good luck! 5 moms dish the dirt... http://blogs.chron.com/mamadrama/
7. I Think You Should Teach Your Child BOTH (All Three)Languages He/She Will Absorb BOTH (All THREE)Languages Like A Sponge And Be Able To Understand The Difference Between The Two(Three) (With Minimal Confusion) And It Will Only Enhance His/Her Abilities Later On "the baby will be at least perfectly bilingual if not trilingual. " Absolutely ^ True Good Luck To Your Family
8. most of my family members speak at least 3 languages because of the diversities among us. it's extremely easy for kids to learn several languages at the same time and their brains don't get confused either. this issue is not worth arguing over.
9. BOTH! Babies learn at amazing speed and they can learn both easily, what a wonderful gift to the child. show the baby while you talk to explain your action it will help them learn faster like when your dressing the baby tell them what your doing.
10. where I live it is very multi- cultral.. and all the parents I know speak both languages in their home.. I feel that it benefits the child even more to be able to speak two languages.
11. Chinnesse is harder, english is easy and european fench,portuguess where they also speak english.
12. I say learning all of the languages will be highly sufficient, but I feel that it should be ... um, absorbed ... in small steps. Perhaps you might be able to find a way to have your child eventually be able to speak all three languages in his/her early years, but I'm just voicing my opinion that learning your's and your husband's native language is JUST as important as the English language. That's all. =]
13. The child will learn both languages. Each person should decided which language they are going to speak to the child in and stick to it. The child will then learn english when he/she goes to school. My daughter goes to a french immersion school and neither of her parents speak french, she is now fluent at 7 years old. She has friends at school whose parents spoke only spanish to them until they were about 4 years old, and now they are in the french school and doing just fine with all 3 languages. It is a great gift to your child to have them learn different languages from birth, they will have nearly no accent in any of languages they speak and studies show that kids that learn at school in a different laguage than at home, not only do better in reading, but also in math. Good luck
14. Mother should speak her native language, father his, the baby will learn English listening to the two of you and by playing. Your child will pick up all three simultaneously and not even know he is learning it. If not, he won't be able to talk to his grandparents and will miss out on a lot.
15. Speak all 3 to him, trust me, your Baby will be tri-lingual by the age of 1. My kids are! I speak my language, my husband speaks his language, and we speak english to each other, kids are amazing.
16. i agree that the baby should probably first learn english...only b/c english is the language most used in this world and it will be more beneficial to your child's future, if your child knows good english... now, i grew up in a home like where your child will grow up...my parents both speak english, but they each have their own language, as well...my mom tended to talk to me in her language (korean)...though not very often...and my dad tended to speak to me in his language (spanish)...more often...but they taught me how to speak in english first and once i got old enough to be talking (like 3 or 4) then they also incorporated their languages...my mom didn't speak korean too often, so i don't really know much...but i grew up speaking "spanglish"... your baby is going to be a very lucky baby to learn 3 languages as he/she is growing up...this has become an international world where the more languages you speak, the better job you're gonna get...but english is the most used language and if your child doesn't speak it properly, he/she won't get that respect...so primarily teach him/her english and just add in your languages as he/she gets older (b/c children learn languages much better and faster than adults) and then he/she will be trilingual and have that advantage over the next person when it comes to promotion time... i know that b/c i'm bilingual, i've gotten hired for better jobs over someone who only speaks one language...i've been promoted faster and i didn't have to sleep with anyone...knowing lots of languages is a big bonus now and will be in the future...
17. I THINK YOU SHOULD TEACH YOU CHILD ALL OF THE LANGUAGES THAT YOU CAN. CHILDREN LEARN MUCH FASTER WHEN THEY ARE LITTLE. IF THE GRANDPARENTS EACH SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE, THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO THEM TOO. NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FAMILY AND LEARNING ABOUT YOUR HISTORY. LET THEM LEARN ALL THEY CAN,WITH LOVE
18. use ur language, ur husband's and english. ur baby will be so smart. babie are like sponges,they absorb averything without problem
19. Teach the baby the language that he will use most often. If its English , then you need to teach it english. Younger children are very able to learn several languages easily. That is the best time to teach them all the languages. I live where there are 2 languages spoken. Spanish and English and they are equally used in my area of the country. MOst of the children here speak both of the languages.
20. I don't see why you couldn't speak all 3 languages to your child.
21. Children are sponges, from birth on up. Speak them all. I know many mixed culture families where children are speaking at least 2 languages from the very beginning. I have a friend in texas whose 4 year old speakes fluent cantonese, spanish and english. But if it truly is a concern, talk to a few pediatritians. I am sure they could give you great insight into this argument.
22. I am helping raise my little cousin and he is learning two languages. The truth is at times we cant really understand him because he mixes the words in the sentences. But now that he is 3 years old going on 4 its getting better and he is learning to separate them.. But I guess with a little patience at the long run its in the baby's best interest to learn all the languages as possible.I will now raise my baby in the same way.
23. I personally im a mixed person 2. and what my parents did was teach me a lil bit of english but mostly spanish. They told me they did this because in school they teach you how to read, write and speak proper english. Also what ever you decide to do, teach them while their young so they could pick things up quicker.
24. You should use English if you are raising the baby here. This will help him or her fit in. You don't want him being behind the other students at school and have to go to special classes.
25. Children raised with more than one language actually develop an extra area in their brains that allow them to more easily learn multiple languages later on in life. If your child learns 3 three languages image the impact this will have on his/her intelligence. Children raised with several languages learn to distinguish early on which words belong to which language due to syntac and accent. Also consider that it will help you and your husband learn each other's native languages as the child develops. Children also learn early on which person understands which language. After all, kids have always been good at getting what they need. I highly recommend using all three.
26. YES Whatever is the primary language for your country. He should use. And so should both of you.
27. teaching a baby different languages is a VERY good thing. it is actually the BEST time to teach them. i dont think i would be trying to teach them 3 languages at once though, i dont know if that is what you were getting at or just two? but two languages wont confuse them too bad, it may at first but once they get used to it they will be fine. if you teach them the different languages when they are young, they will speak it properly, with the correct accent. if they learn it later on, they will speak it with an americanized accent. i lived in germany for a while(military) and saw several young children who could speak german and english fluently and they were not confused. studies have shown that children who learn languages before the age of 3 retain it much better than older kids. you are right on this arguement with your hubby.
28. I heard a joke once: What is a person that speaks 3 languages called? Trilingual What is a person that speaks 2 languages called? Bilingual What is a person that speaks 1 language called? American! I think it is a great idea to teach a child more than 1 language. THE LANGUAGES MUST BE KEPT SEPARATE! Either one at home and the other elsewhere or one with one parent and the other with the other parent. If the child is taught both at once he/she will be mixing the languages up and NO ONE will understand him/her. An expert definitely should be consulted. Good Luck!
29. All languages its a known fact that if you speak more than one language you learn faster some people say you're smarter also. It'll also help the baby in the future when he/she gets a job knowing more than one language helps you. You get paid more and you get better opportunities.
30. i think it should be totally fine to speak both. children pick up on different languages a lot easier than adults. i used to live in germany and my neighbours were english and german. they spoke both to their daughter. sometimes she mixed things up but it helped me learn more german ;) we have a girl at my daycare whose parents are sudanese and they speak both. she is almost 4 and now rarely speaks her parents native language to us, she adapts. when her parents or brothers come to get her she speaks in whatever language she feels like at the time. she is very smart and is not 'behind'. we have had lots of children from bosnia, croatia, etc and they too spoke both languages with no apparent difficulties when they reached school age. we also thought it was great to learn a few words along with them. why not?